Saturday 25 April 2015

Epic Fail

December. December. That's when I last spoke.

Sorry. I'm back, we're back. To continue our adventures, our story.

I won't bore you with the recap of the past four months, you'll catch up. Just know that we are all well and in a good place.

So on with the story.


I went in for some PEG button changing training the other day with the school nurse. Zack's Mic-Key button has been in place now for five years and every three months it needs to be replaced with a new one.




This job was always done by a nurse. I avoided it at all costs, too squeamish (wimpy I know) but also the fact that he once pulled it out by himself and then it refused to go back in firmly boxed off any chance I had of going near it. 

However, given I am often on my own with him and he has a taste for getting hold of his button and/or feeding tube I thought it was about time I come face to face with my nemesis.

So here I was at 3.15pm in school looking at a pretend baby doll that has had a really rough start in life. I mean that baby has a tracheostomy, a cannula, a peg and some other hole in the poor things stomach. Also, small child, the curious four year old enquires about each and every added extra that appears on the babies body. I swear by the time she's 10 she will have the knowledge of a first year medic student.

Pretend doll didn't play along, the peg wouldn't go back in, things did not bode well.

We move over to real child who was very happily chilling on the floor listeining to music having been very unimpressed with the school visitor, subject matter being gardening.

I get the peg out okay, by this point Zack is highly amused at my attempt to not butcher his stomach and does not co-operate by lying in a relaxed manner as I shakily went in for the placement of the PEG. Would it go in? My arse it would, nope it kept wobbling and bending all over the shop. Which only increased Zack's capacity for laughter and my inability to get over my fear of pushing on.

In the end I quit and the nurse popped it in.

Epic fail. I flunked my first attempt. I didn't even flunk my drivers test first time and all this is is putting a small plastic tube into a hole. Oh, did I mention it's only a hole that goes directly into my child's stomach. No pressure then.



Agreement was that I have another go in three months time.


I came home with both children and told Dan about my flunking of the button change. By the way, he has successfully completed his training no problem. 

Yeah I thought you might find it difficult was his first response. You kind of have to wiggle it about. You'll get it though. 

Yep, I'll get it. But for now Nurse Gould, if that button comes out, you're up.

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